College life + rant

My life somehow feel so boring.
I never got any friends here. Mingle with your course mate is not easy yah ):
Every time I mingle with them, they would feel so annoyed by me because I like to talking about normal stuff (why not, I would they know about me. It's wrong for me to do that?)
Even sending sms to asking some question for work, they would reply me in mad tone message to show they feel annoyed by me.

Ugh. I hate this part. Especially assignment that required with group work.
I don't mind to do group discussion or group work, but if they feel I did nothing for this group, they would left me out of their group. My course mate told me that I should join other course mate and mingle with them for assignment instead joining his group.

I rather to do assignment by myself, no matter required group work or not. Sadly, I cannot do these because the course I took actually required group work.

I wish I could have real friends here but it seems nobody want to be friends with me.
I don't want to disturb their work/asking/talking, I don't want they being annoyed by me.
I'm not sure if I can do this until I graduated next future.

My self-esteem getting lower and I don't feel like confident about my ability to study here.
I'm getting more tired and depressed but I act as nothing happened. I just pretend myself as happy-going and cheerful person.
I feel like want to cry but I just keep it inside my heart. Who would to see or heard or know this girl crying about?

Even I cannot tell my dilemma to my mum or my best-friends.
I just need to be stronger person, I don't want people I know that there's something wrong with me and give me sympathy to me as they care about me.
If you really care about me, what are you gonna do?
Give sympathy to me and then you tell this stuff as rumor to other.
If you think doing these for fun, you are doing wrong.
I wouldn't call you as my friends, then you're backstabber.

When I'm happier person, they come to me,
When I sad, they left alone in darkness and find other.

What kind friends would to do this on me?

If you really friend to me, leave your comment here.
If you're stalker (follower) give me your opinion.

If no one did not post comment here, then I would like to shut down my blog.
I don't think that you like read my blog and just post your opinion here.

see you later.

- end rant -